To Sleep, Perchance to Dream
by BRNZ
Summary: My first ever Longmire fic - discovered the TV series this year and I ship Walt/Vic endlessly. Here I have inserted an extra couple of months in after the hostage situation where Vic has to deal with the fallout. Branch hasn't yet totally lost it and Cady is in Denver working leads, Henry is still out on bail awaiting his trial. Some swearing and adult themes but nothing graphic
1. Chapter 1

**I wrote this longhand on a recent holiday in Tasmania, and my muse bit so hard I filled one notebook and had to buy another. So I am transcribing this on my laptop, the story is complete, it's just taking me a while to type and upload it in chapters. While I was driving, I was inspired by many angsty songs on my playlist, will put a list of them up at the end.**

**This is my first Longmire fic and only my second attempt at fic ever and feedback and comments are welcomed, thanks for taking the time to read. Have seen all 3 seasons of TV and first 8 books, so have blended various elements of each together here, Katee Sackoff is my Vic inspiration.**

* * *

WALT

Vic had bribed him with the offer off pizza, beer and a comfortable sofa instead of pot pie and hard office chairs for working on tidying up the never ending reports and paperwork generated in the process of sheriffing Durant, Wyoming.

Her good for nothing husband had cleared out and left town (and Vic) a week after the hostage incident. He left Vic to clean up the house, pack his stuff for the company to onship, sell the place and find herself a new one. It had been a busy couple of months for her and not in a good way.

It was his first time at her new place since she was settled and he was curious as to how it was suiting here. There were too many mornings latel with Vic arriving late, grumpier than usual and dark shadows under her eyes.

Removing his heavy jacket and boots at the entrance, Walt quietly socked his way up the stairs, knocked and opened the door, only to draw up short, hand on his service weapon as a tiny black…..thing….. skittered towards him quickly. With his usual presence of mind, Walt stuck a foot out in the way of the oncoming critter and quickly shut the door behind him, closing off the obvious escape route.

When the mystery critter reached his sock encased foot, it proceeded to latch on with all four paws and what felt like needle sharp teeth even through the heavy duty wool socks he was wearing. Of course it was at the point he was making faces while the kitten – a now identified critter – chewed enthusiastically on his big toe, that his deputy sped breathlessly around the corner of the kitchen counter, muttering darkly under her breath. Vic stopped, arrested by the sight of a 6'5" sheriff being attacked by a kitten small enough to be held in one large calloused hand.

Walt looked at her, an arm braced against the wall, the other clutching a bundle of folders and paperwork, and he winced as the kitten energetically practiced his disembowelling back paw technique. "Help" he rumbled "save me from your ferocious guard kitten".

Vic's eyes were crinkled suspiciously at the corners as she nodded, kneeling beside him, eventually disentangling the kitten weaponry from his foot, bundling the tiny black and white creature in her arms, talking calming nonsense to him as she resumed her feet and looked at him. "Hi Walt, meet Fred"

"Fred?"

"As in Fred Astaire, for his tuxedo and how fast he is on his feet". She rolled the kitten over, showing off all four white paws, and the white bib down his chest and belly. A tuxedo kitten indeed.

"I didn't know you liked cats" he queried.

"Not entirely sure I do" she replied, placing Fred on the floor, no doubt to rampage on more unsuspecting feet. "A friend of Ruby's had kittens, and Ruby insisted I take one". She paused "I think he was supposed to be a distraction from ….. stuff". Walt nodded and proceeded cautiously into the room, he was big and the kitten was tiny.

"Ruby's heart is in the right place". He paused at the large, slightly saggy brown leather sofa. "Is this the comfortable sofa you bribed me with for dealing with these, and he handed Vic the pile of paperwork. With a sigh, she took it and started spreading it out on the coffee table.

Several hours later the drudgery had been completed, beer and pizza consumed and Vic had somehow finagled him into telling stories of his days learning the ropes with Lucan. Warm, full of good beer and pizza and able to relax for a night off, Walt had been encouraged by his audience to tell some of the crazier and more unlikely stories. He knew Vic would only believe half of them anyway, but Wyoming had more than its fair share of the crazy, and all the stories were true, one way or another. He sunk a little deeper into the sofa, if he rested his size 14's over the arm at the end he fitted quite nicely.

VIC

Vic looked up from tidying away all the paperwork back into its pouch to see her boss quite comfortably asleep on the Sofa of Doom. Quietly she tidied away the detritus from dinner onto the kitchen counter, the rest could wait til morning. She knew Walt could sleep anywhere (even on the floor of his office) and it was a necessary skill for soldiers and law enforcement officers who were always on call. She turned off the lights, and retired to her bedroom and left him to it.

She woke, startled out of sleep by a sound and blearily looked at the clock, maybe a couple hours sleep. From the depths of the sofa came a noise like bear gurgling under water, Walt snoring of course. She sighed, rubbing her bleary eyes and the second noise that had woken her mewed urgently from her feet. Swearing quietly Vic raced to the SHUT door of the room the kitten lived in, she had forgotten to put him inside last night. Hoping not to stand in any surprises on the way, she quietly sped down the hall and opened the door for the kitten who raced to his litter box and they both breathed a sigh of relief.

Noting the food bowls were half empty she topped them up with kibble and the stinky wet stuff Fred hovered up, and freshened the water bowl. After peeing like his life depended on it, Fred raced over and got stuck in, purring his rusty chainsaw purr. Vic smiled and ran a finger down the tiny back, scratching as he arched into the caress. On the way out she turned the light off and closed the door, the kitten on the right side of it this time.

Now to deal with the other noisy houseguest, Vic gave his shoulder a solid shake. And another one "Walt! Walt, you have to get up" and grabbing both his hands, pulled in the right direction to get him moving, and not letting go while he mutter incomprehensible threats and lurched to his feet

"What?" sleepy and grumpy with it. She kept tugging, steering him in the dark to her bedroom, and steered him up against the other side of the bed from where she slept.

"You were snoring loud enough to be heard across town and that sofa will do your back in worse than sleeping on the floor. She gave his chest a shove "Lie down and don't snore or I will fucking shoot you"

He sank down on the bed, and groggily registered what she was saying and tried to protest. Grabbing the rug from the back of the sofa she handed it to him and under the covers on her side, lying down with a huff "For gods sake, we are both adults and you are on TOP of the covers, both our virtues are suitably protected"

Too tired to protest further, he plumped a pillow, draped the rug haphazardly across his legs, and within moments was sound asleep, facing away from her. Oddly aware of the presence of the man now sleeping next to her, Vic curled in her usual position on her side, facing away from Walt and eventually drifted off herself.

WALT

He was jerked awake from a blissfully deep sleep by his deputies voice crying out. Pausing to shake the sleep from his brain and wipe a hand over his face, he realised as she thrashed and flailed, crying out again "Oh God! No No NO!" then "Its my fault, he's going to die!".

Silence but for heavy ragged breathing and Walt realised she was having a very vivid nightmare "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Oh God please don't be dead". Walt realised she was reliving events from the Chance farm situation and went to reach across and wake her up.

"Walt you bastard! You better not die on me now" and she broke into heaving sobs, her whole body shaking with tension "It's my fault, its all my fault". Shaken, Walt gathered her into his arms, her back to his chest and tucked her head under his chin, where it fitted easily as she was so short

"Shhh Shhh its OK" he cradled her gently, rocking her like a child to soothe her "Wake up Vic, its OK, we made it out OK"

With a shudder her whole body clenched and he knew she was awake. He also knew this was no nightmare, he had lived through PTSD himself and knew the signs. The short temper and dark shadows under her eyes made more sense, if every night had been like this, she must be living through hell. He wished he had paid more attention and realised sooner.

"Shhh Shhh its OK" he crooned singsong as he would to a small child or frightened animal. Walt didn't expect her to burst into noisy wet tears, but continued to hold her, encouraging her to turn towards him, gently stroking her hair back and rubbing soothing circles on her back.

Eventually the storm of tears ended but he still held her lightly, allowing her the choice of whether to stay or move away. Sniffing mightly she blew her nose noisily on the top sheet and wiped her tearstreaked face with a clean bit. Resting her forehead for a moment on her chest and murmured "Well Fuck"

Walt huffed a laugh and let go with his top arm and lay back with Vic still cradled by his other arm. He kinda liked how well they fitted together. "PTSD is a bitch" he said it both as a statement and a question and felt her nod against his arm.

"Since the farm" he queried, another nod. "Why didn't you say anything?" and waited for a response. And waited. He twitched his arm under her head "I'm not going anywhere till you talk to me"

She sighed "Fuck Walt, you were there. What more needs to be said?"

"Nightmares?" another question and another nod. "Anger management issues?" another question and this time a snort and a sassy "you mean more than usual?" in reply. He huffed another laugh before asking "You seen someone about it?"

He had sent Vic home to Philly for a week or so after Sean left, she needed a break and her headaches were serious enough to be checked out by a specialist. He had used that as an excuse to give her some time off. Vic nodded "Yeah I spoke to the precinct shrink in Philly". Before she could return to active, Vic had to have at least one formal appointment, it was mandated after being in a hostage situation, even if she had technically been a civilian at the time. It hadn't helped much by the looks of things.

"They gave me sleeping pills but you know the problem with those" . Walt nodded, big city cops who weren't on call 24/7 didn't realise how much such things can impair reaction times and decision making processes. "And they didn't stop the nightmares".

Walt grunted "Only one thing does that". She levered up onto one elbow and glared a little at him "What?"

"Time" he replied "A lot of time" and he narrowed his eyes at her briefly "Talking to someone who understands and who you trust can really help". She threw herself flat again "Fuck that, I lived through it once already, don't want to keep dragging it up over and over again"

She sighed and rolled away, her head still cradled by his arm and dragged a pillow under her head "Its 5m, go back to sleep, might as well aim for another couple of hours".

Walt rolled towards her, tucking the blankets up over her shoulder. He slid a little closer until they were nearly spooning, but for the layer of blankets between them. Neither said a word as he carefully draped an arm over her, tucking her to him just a bit. Eventually both fell asleep and there were no more nightmares. Or snoring.

When Vic woke later in the morning he was gone. A bag of her favourite custard pastries was on the bench next to a note "TALK TO HENRY".

It was only later that she remembered being woken by a soft pressure on the ticklish spot where her neck curved into her shoulder, almost like a kiss…..


	2. Chapter 2

SEVERAL WEEKS LATER – WALT

"Unit 1 this is Base, Walt are you there? Pickup, we have a situation here" Ruby's voice sounded more stressed than usual and Walt sighed as he picked up the radio, he had been called to Powder Junction and had to stay the night. It had been a long one and he was tired and irritable "Base this is Unit 1, go ahead"

"Walt, we have a man in the office claiming Vic assaulted him while giving him a speeding ticket. He has a black eye" Ruby sounded a bit frazzled and Walt wasn't surprised when she continued "He wants to press charges"

"Ruby Im on my way back from Powder Junction, its nearly lunchtime, send him down to the Bee for a coffee and lunch on us if he will take it"

Some murmuring voices at the other end and then Ruby " Roger that, Ferg is taking him down now" a pause til they left the room "Walt he isn't happy, over"

"Roger that Base, on my way, see you in 30, over"

Walt sighed again, put his foot down and sent the big truck hurtling towards Durant, and as best he could see it, trouble.

Taking the side door into his office, Walt was unsurprised to find his blond deputy waiting for him. Before she could say anything, he held a hand up while he hung his hat and jacket "Save the excuses. Did you hit him?"

She crossed her arms and slung a hip out, all attitude "Not exactly…."

"How exactly?" his voice was that deep grumble it got when he was annoyed, and her feet shifted, betraying her anxiousness underneath the cocky body language, but she didn't say anything. "Vic…." His voice even deeper and slower now.

Vic tucked her chin in mulishly "He was doing 15 over down the I25 and got mouth with me when I asked him to exit the vehicle and breathalysed him."

"Vic its late morning, what time did you stop him?" he had to work to keep amusement out of his tone. Another shifting of the guilty feet "Around 7am….ish"

Walt nodded "I would be pissed too if I was stopped on my way to work on a Friday morning. Whats with the eye?" She sighed and wriggled a bit "Oh I dropped his keys and when he leaned over to get them I hip checked him, and he face planted the wing mirror" She shrugged "Was an accident"

"Must have been some hip check" Walt rumbled at his clearly unrepentant deputy. "OK you are suspended as of now. I will talk to our speedy friend, but you need to cool off. Report in on Monday"

Vic snarled as she spun around and marched out the other door "It was my weekend off anyway". Scrubbing a hand over his tired stubbled face, Walt ventured into the office in search of Ruby and coffee. Both were presented, as Ruby handed him a steaming cup in his favourite mug.

"Walt you should know, Vic got her finalised divorce papers come through yesterday. She has been like a bear with a sore head ever since" Shit, well that made sense.

"Why didn't someone let me know?"

Ruby's face was aggrieved "You were called down to Powder Junction to deal with that stabbing thing" One teenage girl in hospital and one teenage boy on his way to prison most likely, and so it goes. Leaning against the nearest desk, Walt inhaled more coffee and waited for his head to clear, it had been a messy and long night.

"I will talk to this guy, see what I can do. I've put Vic on suspension til Monday pending" Ruby nodded, it was procedure "Call Lucian in to cover the phones and can you do that call forwarding thing to the troops for the late shift?" His Office Goddess nodded "Yes we can manage, it was Vic's weekend off anyway." He had to give the deputies a weekend off once a month from being on call, not only to keep the peace but to keep them all sane.

He drained his mug, rinsing it at the sink and turning it to drain "Once more into the breach, dear friends". Firming his hat down, Walt headed down to the Bee and his no doubt unhappy reception.

One iced tea, two extra strong coffees and the usual and a driver who got a lot less rambunctious when faced with all 6'5" of actual up close and personal Sheriff. They did a deal, the ticket would disappear, and the driver wouldn't get caught speeding for a couple of months. Turned out it was his last strike, hence his mouthy attitude to Vic. Fortunately he also agreed not to press charges, and even thanked Walt for the lunch.

Dorothy winked at Walt as she topped up his coffee "Another happy customer. Add it to the tab?" Walt nodded "Yup, charge it to the Dept" Sipping his third coffee of the day, he pondered the events of the morning. He hadn't asked, and she hadn't said but the PTSD was still clearly an issue and Walt knew from personal experience what long term sleep deprivation did to a person. He was going to have to talk to her and get her agree to professional help. Unprovoked outbursts like today could not be allowed to continue when you are an armed officer of the law.

Walt thanked Dorothy and headed back to the office to update Ruby. He hadn't mentioned the PTSD previously, up until now it was not relevant, but Vic had now made it the departments problem. After filling Ruby in he followed up "So Im going over to check on Vic and talk to her about getting proper help" Ruby nodded, she understood the ramifications "OK I will only call you in event of a dire emergency til you check in and give me the All Clear" She smiled wryly at him "Good Luck"


	3. Chapter 3

WALT

Having hung up his hat and jacket, he was removing his boots when he heard screaming from upstairs. Shucking off the last boot he raced up the stairs, three at a time, slamming the door open with his shoulder, revolver held in his right hand. Closing the door behind him, noting a black skitter in the corner of his eye down the hallway, he cleared all the rooms and headed for the last one, the bedroom where Vic must be. He edged the door open then all the way, holstering his piece.

Vic was crouched on the floor of her bedroom, wearing a ratty tshirt and sleeping shorts, eyes wide open but unseeing as she sobbed uncontrollably, one hand pawing at the air. Walt realised Vic was having a full blown episode and stepped back into the lounge. Unclipping his sidearm, he slid it down the back of the sofa, sure that he didn't want an available weapon around. It was then he spotted the empty Rainier longneck on the coffee table next to a pill bottle. Grabbing the bottle he read the prescription, sleeping pills. Unscrewing the cap he saw that only half the prescribed 10 were left – how many had she taken?

The screaming and crying had given way to mostly incoherent mumbling. Walt knew waking her up right in the middle of an episode was a bad idea but he might be able to gradually bring her back. She was backed into the corner away from the bed on her hands and knees, face tearstained and tight with tension and emotion. He knelt down on one knee, blocking the doorway, but close enough that she could hear him if she was able to.

As he waited, some words became clear in the broken stream of muttering "Its not him, he's not dead, not yet anyway, thank god, thank god" and the hands that had been pattering at the air stopped. She turned away for a moment, and then turned back, her eyes still sightlessly staring. The look on her face had been relief and now it was a horrified realisation of something "Oh god Sean, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I didn't know, I really didn't know".

Suddenly she struggled to her feet, swaying "Shit they are coming back!". Vic staggered forward jerkily, stopping as her legs encountered the end of the bed, and she stood with her shoulder hunched up and head tilted at an odd angle. Crying out "Walt you can't do this!" and breathing raggedly for a moment, nodded stiffly "Oh My God don't shoot him you crazy freak show" and then snarling "Gorski you bastard, you did this".

Vic stumbled forward, falling on to the bed, pushing up and staggering towards Walt, so he caught her gently by the shoulders. He had realised she was playing out her part in the closing stages of the Chance farm hostage situation so started talking quietly but firmly "Vic its OK, we are OK, we made it out" repeating it over and over, squeezing her shoulders with his big hands, hoping the physical contact would register.

Ignoring the fact he had got shot in the arm, and she had a very bad concussion he kept repeating his mantra "Vic its OK, we are OK, we made it out". Slowly her face turned up to his, her eyes still glazed from the hallucination and the drugs, but starting to focus on him, her hands raised to grab and clench onto the front of his shirt, holding her up nearly.

Her voice was harsh from the screaming, still ragged and heavy "Walt, you are alive?". He nodded "Yes I am OK, we both got out and you are safe now". Taking a chance he lifted his hands from her shoulders and gently gathered her into his embrace, rocking her side to side and murmured into her hair "Its OK Vic, just a dream, just a horrible dream".

Feeling her push back, he let her go but she was still hanging on for dear life to the front of his shirt. Staring for a moment at her hands and his chest, she blearily stared up at him "How do I know this isn't a dream too?" For a moment he was at a total loss, what could he do to prove that now was real and break the spell that the drugs and the nightmare had over her. Suddenly he smiled his crooked half smile, remembering the fairy tales he used to read to Cady, and the tried and true way of waking a princess from her sleep. He dropped his head to hers and kissed her. Nothing fancy, just a solid pressure to make sure she felt him. For a long moment there was no response and then her mouth opened hungrily under his and the kiss went well beyond fairytale land.

Vic stepped back, breathing heavily and stared up at him, wide eyed and clearly still blurry and slurring a little bit "But that's how you kiss me in my dreams". With that bombshell, she collapsed against him, and he gathered her up, and laid her on the bed, covering her up gently. Taking a moment to check her vitals, he grabbed his cell phone (he had got into the habit after Cady's accident) and called his favourite emergency doctor.

"Shit Walt, beer, an unknown number of sleeping pills and a full blown PTSD episode! Shit!" nodding into the call, Walt sat on the bed next to the sleeping woman, talking into the phone "Her pulse is strong, was a bit thready before but I think that was the adrenaline in her system. Her colour is a bit pale but ok and she is breathing OK. Should I bring her in?"

The doctors voice was frazzled "Shit Walt, normally I would say of course, but we have an out of town sports team here for a highschool tournament and half of them are down with novovirus and we are setting up a quarantine now. I expect we will be full up in a couple of hours and not the best place for your deputy".

He continued "Can someone stay with her and monitor her? Call me of course if she deteriorates" Walt nodded into the call again "Yes I can stay with her. Good luck with the vomiting masses". Ending that call, he called Ruby and updated her on the situation and explained he was unreachable unless people were driving down the main street with machine guns, shooting up everything in sight. Ruby promised to put the word out and that the team could take care of themselves for the next 12-24 hours.

After putting Vic into the recovery position, and rustling a bucket up out of the hall closet to put next to the bed, best to be prepared for the worst, Walt sighed and went foraging. If he was staying the night, he would need a lot of good strong coffee and snacks. Before he got as far as the fridge, he was greeted by Fred, purring his rusty chainsaw purr at the sight of a human in the kitchen. Walt knelt on one knee and offered a cautious finger to be sniffed, which it was and then brushed with one cheek and another. Fred was twice the size he had been when Walt first encountered him, which upgraded him from tiny to very small. Bright dark eyes stared earnestly up at him, and Walt carefully scooped the kitten up, this time needing two hands to contain him. Together they went to investigate the contents of the fridge.

Except for beer and catfood, it looked remarkably like his fridge, which was concerning. Vic claimed to enjoy cooking and that her lasagne was To Die For. Another sign of the deterioration of Vic's wellbeing. Snuggling the kitten to his chest with one hand, wincing as Fred energetically kneaded his chest with armour piercing claws, Walt grabbed the open tin of cat food out of the fridge, and a spoon and went in search of kitten arrangements.

He found them in the spare room/office, a litterbox, a half full water bowl and two empty dishes besides. Not sure how much food to supply, Walt emptied the half full tin into one bowl, and wandering back to the kitchen to rinse and dispose of the tin, found a box of dry kibble and topped the other bowl up with that. Fred was chowing down enthusiastically, purring loudly if erratically.

A call to Jamie sorted out a pizza delivery which arrived eventually, and Walt sat down to enjoy hot pizza and cold soda. No beer if he was to be on nurse duty all night

5am the next morning, Vic had finally settled into a more natural sleep and Walt had allowed himself the luxury of sleeping beside her. On the outside of the blankets of course.


	4. Chapter 4

VIC

Around 7am Vic clawed her way out of sleep, eyes crusted and blurry, mouth tasting and feeling like the inside of a pair of old gymshoes. It wasn't till she threw the blankets back and unsteadily sat up on the side of the bed that she realised she wasn't alone. Even from the back her boss was easily identifiable, if only for the breadth of his shoulders and his height. She wasn't sure why he was wearing his usual sheriff uniform or why the hell he was in…. make that on her bed. Again.

Wiping the sleep out of her eyes, Vic leaned her aching head in her hands and wondered what the hell had happened yesterday. She remembered coming home, pissed off at the mornings events and the suspension that had taken the shine away from her weekend off. She remembered sinking a Rainier in record time which had led her to what had seemed like an excellent idea of taking a couple of sleeping pills and forgetting about the rest of the day.

Trouble was, she couldn't remember much after that, nightmares of course but this time they seemed much more real and….. and Walt kissing her? "Jesus" she muttered and staggered up on stiff legs to the kitchen and then one hand on the wall for balance, down the hallway to the desperately needed bathroom. Taking a moment to wash her face and brush her teeth, Vic checked on Fred on the way past the spare room. He had plenty of food, so Walt must have sorted him out at some point but he was glad to see a person, and followed her slow progress into the rest of the house, before racing off on mad kitten business.

Padding quietly to the bedroom, Vic grabbed the nearest clothes, her yoga pants and a sweatshirt and left Walt sleeping heavily, shutting the door quietly behind her. Tugging the clothes on over her pyjamas, Vic collapsed into the most comfortable corner of her sofa, back to the bedroom door , tucked her giant cushion behind her comfortably and wrapped herself in her favourite rug. It was Merino and silk, a present from her mother, light as a feather and warm as a hug. She needed a hug right now and wrapped herself tightly, drawing her knees up to her chest , leaning against the side of the sofa and wondered how her life had gone so completely to shit.

Slowly bits and pieces of the night before filtered through, blurry and unclear, and she realised Walt had come to check on her, found the beer and the pills and thought the worst. It was only one beer and two pills but clearly cause for concern. Silently tears streamed down Vic's face, lost as she was in her misery, she barely noticed.

It was guilt eating her alive, guilt that Sean had been involved in the hostage situation, guilt that he had seen her screaming and raving like a mad woman when she thought the body in the bag was Walt, guilt at her failed marriage, and finally guilt that she had realised at the worst possible moment that she was in love with the man who was her boss, and not her husband. Right in front of the husband, so he had all his suspicions confirmed. It was already over between them but the pain she felt as her world gave way right there in front of her was paralysing. So much so that she was still living it, over and over again in nightmares.

And Walt had told her to talk to Henry! How the hell could she have THAT conversation with a straight face to his best friend and confidant. When the shit had hit the fan, and Sean had served up the divorce papers via Walt, Walt HAD asked her to stay, and at that moment, out of sheer spite, she had said yes. Besides, she had lost everything except her job and had nowhere else to go. Going back to Philly in disgrace was not an option. Plus…. he had asked her to stay.

Fred mewed beside her, and made a mighty leap, anchoring himself with sharp claws and struggled his way up on to the sofa, clumsily climbing up the soft blanket til he reached her face, licking busily at the salty tears for a moment before finding a soft nest between her chest and knees and proceeded to knead and purr busily. Vic sniffed mightily and scrubbed at her face, suddenly aware of the evidence of tears yet again.

As if by magic, a couple of tissues drifted down on top of the kitten and a warm moist cloth proffered by a man who had NO right to be able to move so quietly for his size. Blowing her nose noisly (was there any other way) Vic said "Thanks" and wiped her face and hands with the cloth which was whisked away. She did feel a bit better for it.

Walt reappeared with a large glass of water and a couple of aspirin, which Vic gratefully took and swallowed, drinking all the water when urged to by Walt "You need the rehydration" . Walt disappeared briefly, returning with a damp face and peppermint breath attesting to his own wake up bathroom visit. He lowered himself with a grunt onto the sofa a short distance from Vic, and not looking at her patted his thigh with one hand. Vic was utterly bemused at what he wanted and stared at him. With a sideways glance, he reached out with one hand and gently hooked it behind one ankle, tugging the leg up towards him.

Confused, Vic let him guide her leg up onto his thigh, reassembling her rug around her, and closed her eyes in momentary bliss as Walt began gently but quite expertly massaging her foot. He was very good at it! No words were spoken by either person for several minutes, and Fred was snuggled up asleep in a comfy nest against her chest and arm.

Using her other arm, Vic shifted her weight down a bit and warily stretched the other leg out and placed it next to its partner and Walt obligingly shifted his attentions to the new limb, and slowly, ever so slowly Vic began to relax a tiny bit at a time. The headache that she had woken up began to fade, and eventually with a soft sigh she let go completely, closing her eyes and resting her head back on the cushion behind her. Walt certainly knew his way around a foot massage, if he ever gave up sheriffing, he could do well as a side business in his retirement.

The sound of his voice was loud in the quiet apartment and startled her eyes open "Cady loved to have her feet and legs rubbed. She had a lot of growing pains and woke up often in the night with cramps". Vic gasped a little as his thumbs dug deep into her instep "She would lie for hours if she could, but eventually my hands would get too sore" Walt smiled a reminiscent smile "Usually she had fallen back to sleep by then". Vic nodded, not sure if he was paying attention as he was still, oddly, not looking at her.

Fortunately the massage continued, back on the original foot but now up past the ankle and into the calf muscle. Vic shifted down a bit more to allow better access, and wallowed just a little in the experience, he really was GOOD at this.

Again his voice broke the silence and opened her eyes "It was when we were looking for Polina's killer, that night in the bar when you talked about bad girls" he pause and she unconsciously held her breath "That was when I started to fall in love with you. When you showed me such vulnerability under that hard Philly exterior". Vic took a ragged breath and then another, her pulse beginning to pound.

"When Chance had you and your life was truly in danger, I knew I would do anything to keep you safe" his voice trembled the tiniest bit, had the room not been so quiet, it would not have been noticed "You were married, obviously not happily, but still married. I'm your boss and old enough to be your father. Unsuitable in so many ways" this time his breath was unsteady "I wondered and hoped you felt the same way but was never really sure".

He sighed and the hands stilled, gently clasping one foot "Then he divorced you and left you to clean up the mess and to pickup the pieces of your life and start again. Was there room for me in it? I had no idea". The hands on her foot clenched suddenly until Walt turned a burning blue gaze straight into her eyes "Not until last night anyway". When he turned his face away she felt like the sun had disappeared behind a cloud, suddenly bereft of warmth. Slowly the hands resumed their work and Vic was left breathless with the implications of what Walt had just revealed.

The air between them thickened with tension, the hands on her foot and leg no longer therapeutic, but almost sensual, seductive. Light caresses just on the right side of ticklish and Vic fought against a rising sense of desire and a healthy dose of panic. What the hell did she say now?


	5. Chapter 5

VIC

Vic's voice broke as she tried to speak, to say the words that had NEVER been spoken, about what really happened when she and Sean were locked in the bunker. They had been the only two witnesses and had their own reasons for maintaining silence on this particular subject, something Vic had been briefly grateful for at the time.

She stared into memory again, and her eyes glistened with tears "I see the same thing over and over again in my nightmares. I didn't tell anyone this but when Chances thugs threw the trooper in the body bag down the bunker they made me think it was you". Slowly her eyes focussed but this time she was not looking directly at him "I …lost it….completely, actually. The mad woman screaming thing. Totally out of control until I opened the bag and saw it wasn't you" a very long pause "Right in front of Sean, I lost it at the thought you might be dead. I saw what remained of my marriage collapse completely as I realised I was in love with you, and not him any more. And he saw it too".

This time it was her gaze, intense and hungry that captured his "I don't give a shit about the other stuff, age differences, the boss thing, its all bullshit excuses and I'm tired of feeling guilty about the way I feel". She reclaimed her legs, and tucked them back against her, resting her chin on her knees, gazing off into space again.

"I couldn't talk to Henry or anyone about this and the dreams got worse and worse and I lost control of everything" she sighed and gave him a sideways glance "Was it really bad? I only remember fuzzy bits and pieces, screaming, crying, you being there. I was so drugged up I can hardly tell what was real and what was the dream part".

Walt nodded "Yeah it got pretty bad for a bit, but then you passed out on me. I stayed to make sure you made it through the night OK, the hospital is full up with a novovirus outbreak". There was a long silence as both of them pondered the ramifications of what they had both revealed, finally to each other.

Vic's voice was quiet and tentative "What now?". Walt levered himself up and out of the Sofa of Doom and offered a hand to help her up "Now you have a hot shower, get dressed and pack a bag of comfy clothes for a couple of nights". Looking at the sleepy kitten now stretched over one shoulder "you better pack the kitten to come too". Vic accepted his hand and lunged upright out of the grip of the sofa. She put the rug down and laid the kitten on top with a quick gentle pat to his head and walked a couple of not entirely steady steps to the bathroom and paused, half turning back to him "Did I dream you kissing me last night? I really can't remember properly at all".

Walt quirked his usual half smile at her and shook his head "PTSD really kicks your ass doesn't it". Realising that this non answer was all she was going to get, she headed into the bathroom. The door was almost closed when Walts voice stopped her "Vic if I did kiss you, trust me, it WOULD be memorable" .

With that startling announcement he padded heavily down the stairs to don boots hat and jacket and venture in quest of breakfast. Vic let out a breath she hadn't realised she had been holding, closed the door, leaned back on it and sank to the ground as her legs gave out from underneath her. Her heart was pounding. What the hell would happen if he actually DID kiss her?

WALT

Breakfast and coffee were accomplished, bags and complaining kittens were secured in the back of Walts truck. Vic had been confused but still shaken and obviously feeling the hangover from the drugs. The black shadows under her eyes looked like bruises, she was too pale and he finally noticed, thinner and she shivered slightly in the early morning cool of the truck cab.

After 10 min driving towards the edge of town, Vic finally asked "Where are we going Walt?" he flicked her a glance and picked up the radio "My place, you need a change of scenery". Before she could reply he keyed the radio "Base this is Unit 1, come in Ruby".

Ruby sounded worried but also relieved to hear from Walt "Unit 1 this is Base, go ahead Walt. Is Vic doing OK?" a long pause and then Walt keyed the radio again "Ruby I'm calling a Code C for today and tomorrow, can you take care of the details". Even Vic could hear the surprise in the silence at the other end and finally Ruby replied " A Code C, are you sure?".

Vic wasn't sure what to make of the inscrutable glance Walt flicked in her direction before he replied "Yep, if anyone asks we have been called out of town on family matters. Can you get word out to the troops?"

Ruby was all business "Absolutely, it was Vics weekend off and you already have Lucian in helping with the phones", but she continued unexpectedly, voice noticeably softer "Walt, take care of you both" and then she radioed off. Walt sighed heavily as he hung the radio up, and indicated to turn into the long road that led out of town and towards his place on one side and the Red Pony on the other.

Vic let him drive for about half the distance before she finally asked in a quiet and tentative voice "Walt, whats a Code C? I've never heard of it". He shot her that inscrutable glance again and pulled the truck onto the wide grass verge next to the road and turned it off. This was not a conversation to be had while driving. Resting an elbow on the window edge, he scrubbed a hand over his tired and unshaven face and rested his head on his hand for a long while. "Walt?" her voice soft and querying.

His face was sombre as he turned finally and looked at her, and she gave him all the space he needed to speak to her "When Martha was really sick before she went into hospital for the last time, I had to take a lot of time off to look after her. It happened so often Ruby started calling it a Code C to make it sound more official when people where asking where I was". His eyes were sad and lost in memory for a moment "The C stood for cancer".

Uncertain how to reply to this, Vic just looked at him with those haunted bruised eyes and he slowly began to speak, to say what had previously been unthinkable "You" he paused and then said more firmly "We need time and space to sort…..this, whatever it is….. out. This was the only way I could guarantee a couple of uninterrupted days. Ruby understands that I don't use this casually".

Understanding began to dawn on her face, and then alarm "Walt have you just publically announced to the world that we are a " she waved a hand vaguely in the air " a thing?". His expression was an odd mix of sheepish and unrepentant and he nodded slowly "It kinda looks that way" and he smiled briefly at her, one of his real dazzling actual grins, with teeth and wrinkles in the corners of his eye, just the tiniest bit of smug underneath it "Is that going to be a problem?".

She huffed and bounced back against her seat, but the glance she threw him had more than a hint of mischief in it "I guess we will find out eventually". Walt was pleased to see she had some spark left and started up the truck, lumbering them out onto the road and keeping carefully to the speed limit towards his cabin.

Finally reaching the last turn off, Walt slowed the truck for the turn when a long melodious toot on an oncoming car horn caused him to brake before the entrance, and Lola fishtailed her way past, Henry waving madly with one hand, and sped off back in the direction of the Red Pony. Walt and Vic looked at each other in mystification, and with a shrug, Walt sent the truck rumbling forward down the long driveway across the valley to the cabin.

All became clear as they unloaded the back of the truck, on the porch was a large cooler and several other bags, all of which contained what Henry obviously considered the basic necessities for feeding two hungry people for a couple of days. He had also dropped of Dog, who was sniffing interestedly at the carrier containing the kitten, still clutched in Vics arms. She still looked mystified and Walt enlightened her, sounding a bit gruff and embarrassed "Word obviously got out on the bush telegraph and Henry knows I have even less in my fridge than you do" . He shouldered the door open, and scooping the chiller up with one hand, led the way into the cabin. Vic mouthed a silent Oh and followed him in, putting the carrier down and unloading the gym bag from her shoulder, asking uncertainly "Where do I put everything?"


	6. Chapter 6

VIC

Food supplies were unloaded and put away in the kitchen as appropriate, her bag of clothes tossed onto the ONE bed in a rather carefree manner by Walt. The kitten was housed in a rather unlikely but elegant pen made out of panels of a cast iron fire surround dredged out of the depths of the barn. It was assembled on the shady side of the house against the deck support post, and had plenty of room for his cage, and a water and food bowl. Dog was very enthusiastic about this new visitor but wary after an enquiring nose was hissed and growled at.

Fred was uncertain about this grass stuff underfoot and keeping a wary eye on Dog, cautiously explored his new home, outside for the first time. Once a breeze ruffled the long grass, he was easily distracted and raced off to pounce and play mad kitten games. Vic approved of the setup, the panels were finely made with plenty of narrow bars to keep the kitten contained. She arched a querying eyebrow at Walt as he finished tying up the last panel and he rumbled "Had it made when Cady started crawling to keep her away from the fireplace".

Stepping back, he wiped his hands on his jeans, tugged his baseball cap down (Vic assumed it was his casual hat for around home vs his formal sheriff hat) and walked past her in the direction of the stables off to the left. He called out over his shoulder "Coming?"

She went.

It turned out Walt had firm ideas on how the morning would go. He had whistled up Horse, haltered and tied her up with a net of hay and then turned towards Vic with a large brush in his hand that looked more suitable for scrubbing floors "Here you go" and held the brush out towards her. She looked at it and then at him and the look on her face must have been telling as he quirked his half smile at her and nodded to the horse and proffered the brush again "Start working on her with that, though the proper term is grooming"

She took the brush carefully, it was heavier than she expected and queried "But…. How?"

Walt picked up another smaller shinier brush and demonstrated "start at the top and brush down, following the lay of the hair, don't poke her with it and press hard, if she leans into it, you are doing OK". He put down his demo brush and stepped behind her, pushing her up towards the head of the snorting firebreather, his large calloused hand easily covered hers and grasped the brush and lifting both their arms up to the top of the neck behind the ears and stroked in a long smooth stroke down the horses neck.

Horse made a funny noise and shook her head and Vic took a half step backwards. She couldn't go any further because she was hard up against Walt's tall solid body. His voice rumbled up above his ear "Its OK, she was just shaking off flies". Suddenly aware of the full body contact, and self conscious about it, Vic stepped forward and with a telling sigh she began to cautiously brush the horse.

It turned out to be a LOT more effort than expected and a lot more horse, especially when you had to do both sides, on top and underneath with two different brushes, combing the long hair and even plaiting it! After her first few minutes of brushing when Horse hadn't bitten or kicked her, Vic began to relax just a bit and threw and arch look over her shoulder at the man watching, hands shoved in his pockets, one hip popped "Are you going to watch me do this all day?"

An amused laugh rumbled behind her "Mmmm not a bad idea actually" and she sniffed, ostentatiously ignoring him. Sounds of things being moved about and dragged went on behind her, and something heavy and solid was dragged out into the sunshine, and then something heavy was dropped on top of it. Vic turned to look.

Walt had dragged a wooden stand out of the barn, and perched on top was a fancy tooled western saddle, with all the shiny silver bits and things dangling off it. The leather was burnished a soft golden brown and if it wasn't coated in a layer of dust, would have shone in the sunlight. Vic's fingers wanted to run over its contours but she arched another eyebrow at him and gestured with her brush at the setup. Walt had added a bucket of soapy water, another bucket of plain water, several clothes and what looked like a cake of clear amber soap. Finally he fetched a wooden stool, set it behind the saddle and perched, dipping a cloth into the water, wringing it quite dry and wiping it over the dusty saddle.

"Cleaning tack is what I will be doing, while enjoying the view". Taking the hint she turned back to Horse and resumed her fragrant chores.

WALT

Vic had kept up a running commentary of snark while grooming Horse, though eventually both of them had relaxed enough to enjoy the physical workout. Her body needed some mindless physical exercise to give her brain space to adjust.

As well as an excellent view of proceedings, Walt got a chance to give his favourite saddle a proper strip down and clean, something that took a good couple of hours so didn't get done often enough. Eventually, tired sweaty and fragrant Vic called it a win for the horse and flopped down on the grass, refusing to do anything that didn't involve a cold beer and lunch first.

By now he had finished the saddle, and laid out the assorted bits on the yard fence to properly dry before he reassembled everything and stored it away. He tidied away the cleaning gear, wiping his hands down with a rag before giving Vic a hand up from her patch of grass. As she brushed herself down she asked "Walt, have you seen Dog lately?". Pausing to think, Walt replied "No not for a while" and they both walked round the corner of the barn towards the cabin.

Dog was lying on his side hard up against the kitten pen, he raised his head and wagged his tail at their approach, but refused to get up any further. When they walked around the side, both could see why. Fred was lying on his side on the other side of the panel, kneading his tiny paws through the narrow gaps, purring loudly, nearly half buried in the long fur on Dog's back.

Vic turned, her face bathed in sunlight and smiled at him, a genuine delighted smile that he had never seen on her face before. The ice enclosing his heart cracked all the way through and without even thinking about it he stepped forward, tilted her chin up and dipped down to kiss his blond goddess, for no other reason than she was beautiful and happy and smiling and he wanted to.

It was a quick 'capture the moment' kiss, nothing more, but Vic swayed and stepped back a step as he reluctantly pulled away. Holding a hand up, she leaned forward, breathing hard like a marathon runner at the end of the race and then straightened up, eyeing him speculatively "What was that for, exactly?". Walt felt the heat rising in his face, embarrassed to be blushing like a teenager.

He looked away and then down at the ground before replying quietly "You were smiling in the sun at me, smiling like you never had before, and I wanted to kiss you and remember you like that for always" and he risked a glance up at her. She nodded and stood slinging a hip out, all attitude and sass. Putting her hands on her hips, she tilted her head, appearing to consider something for a moment before replying "Walt as kisses go it was nice, sure, but it wasn't particularly memorable".

Damn his mouth for getting him into trouble "You think so?" and she nodded firmly "I do".

"Alright then" and he stepped forward, and scooped her up into a bride carry and three long strides had them to the cabin, and he stepped up onto the porch and slid her on top of the railing. They were nearly face to face at this height and he wedge her knees open with his hip, sliding his way forward and wrapped one arm around her back, the other around her shoulder, coming up to cradle the back of her head and staring very intently into her somewhat startled eyes he murmured "Hang on then".

Walt lowered his mouth to hers and gave her EVERYTHING, his despair and anger, loss and guilt, desire held in check for so long, his desperate need and finally his gratitude that this long hoped for moment had actually arrived. When they finally pulled apart, both were breathless, pulses pounding. Walt rested his forehead against hers and when he was able to form a coherent sentence he grated "Memorable enough?".

He felt her nod against him, with a faint laugh and "Oh god yes, I think that just won the Nobel Peace prize". He laughed and lifted her down to the ground, swivelling around so they were leaning against the railing. His legs were trembling and he wasn't sure he could stand unaided quite yet. Vic had clenched her hands in the front of his tshirt and she bought her grip down but didn't let go and gave him a shake "You *did* kiss me last night!".

Walt sighed and shrugged, one arm leaning against the railing as well "You were out of your mind and I needed a way to distract you and bring you back" he shrugged again "desperate measure" and smiled down at her "it worked though".

Her hands tugged at his tshirt "And this?" and he smiled down at her, tender but with a generous dollop of male smugness "Ancient Chinese Curse – Be Careful What You Wish For". Vic stared at him for a moment "Smartass" and let go of his shirt stepped back, and before he had a chance to realise what she was doing, whipped her tshirt AND sportsbra off in one smooth move, tossing them onto the nearest porch chair and stood there, brazen and her gaze was mostly challenging but he could see the fear underneath it as she said "Two can play at that game".


	7. Chapter 7

WALT

"Jesus Christ Vic!" he growled, grabbed her hand and hustled her inside, slamming the door shut behind them "Remind me to tell you about Omar and his very big fancy expensive and LONG RANGE telescope!". She stood there, topless and backlit by the bedroom doorway and something in his face must have changed, because as he stepped forward, she stepped back, and like a waltz they went through the doorway, stopping short when Vic reached the edge of the bed.

She let go of his hand, bent and shimmied out of her remaining clothes, climbed backwards onto the bed, smiled and reached out for him. Utterly unable to speak, Walt succumbed to the inevitable, lowered himself down on the bed next to her. As she turned her face towards his kiss, she murmured "Tell me later".

xxxxxxxx

The sex had been hot, hungry and fast, their bodies desperate to forge a physical connection. He had let Vic set the pace, conscious of her still fragile state and while he wasn't surprised at her willingness to take charge, he was intrigued at how comfortable she was with it.

In cowboy terms, he had been ridden hard and put away wet, and didn't mind one damn bit, thankyou very much. His right arm was numb, because Vic was curled up asleep on it again, facing away from him, outlined in the sunlight streaming in the cabin window. His stomach reminded him it had been too long since breakfast and he was uncomfortably aware that he was in desperate need of a shower too.

Carefully extracting his arm to sleepy mumbles of complaint, and managing to slide a drawer open far enough to snag some clean jeans and a tshirt, he headed for the bathroom first to have a quick hot shower and then wreak havoc upon the supplies Henry had so thoughtfully left for them.

One truly impressive sandwich and a can of Rainier at hand, he headed outside to his favourite chair on the sunny side of the porch. It wasn't til he had eaten the first half of the sandwich that he realised Dog had not shown up for his share. Setting the food and drink down, he headed for the kitten pen, where Dog was still there, this time with nose pressed hard up against the grill, entranced with the small furry creature inside.

Walt made a long arm and scooped up the kitten with one hand and his water and food bowl with the other and placed both on the deck out of the reach of Dog. He pointed at Dog and said "Guard", pointing to the kitten he said "Stay" and sat down to finish of his sandwich. This time Dog got his share. Dog had gotten the point and every time the kitten headed for the edge of the porch, a big doggy head and wet tongue were there to discourage him. Eventually the kitten tired of the game and mewed at Walt's feet.

Bemused Walt lifted the kitten up into his lap and gently petted him, and before long all two and four legged inhabitants were enjoying a pleasant afternoon nap.

VIC

She woke, bathed in sunlight and feeling better than she had in a long time. Amazing what an uninterrupted sleep could do to improve your outlook on life and she smiled, as well as …other things. Stretching luxuriously she rose and padded into the bathroom to pee and clean her teeth. Looking at herself in the mirror Vic was horrified to realise she looked awful, had lost weight, hair dry and tangled and she looked like she had two black eyes, the hollows underneath them were so dark and bruised looking.

Shaken, she returned to bed, wrapping herself in the blankets for comfort and thought quite a bit about her current situation in life and how her choices had got her to this point. Just once it was nice to have some quiet thinking time, no one needed anything from her right now and she could just relax and…..be… for a change.

Vic blinked, and had that crashing realisation of a fundamental truth about her life – always someone somewhere had needed something from her. Family, parents, police academy, brothers, husband, workmates. They all wanted her to be something or do something. No one had ever really asked her what SHE had wanted, allowed her the freedom of choice until Walt.

She had told him she didn't like to be controlled, not really realising how true it was and he had seen it and respected it. Only when he had no other choice had he asked her to stay. And even then, he had only said what he wanted with no other pressure or demands, and left the choice in her hands.

Even with this weekend, yes he had taken control and bought her out to the cabin, but only because her own ability to make informed decisions was impaired, and his aim was to give her time and space to get her shit together (hopefully). There were no demands or requirements that she do, think or feel anything other than what SHE wanted.

It was scary to realise how much her life had restricted and enclosed her, shaping her choices and decisions and Vic knew with complete certainty, that the rest of her life would not be like that. She would fight with everything she had to make sure of it!

Walt rumbled at her from the doorway behind her "I could hear you thinking from outside, it was so loud" he leaned against the doorway, a sleeping Fred cradled in one arm and smiled at her "you OK?". Vic patted the empty side of the bed in invitation, rolling over as Walt perched one knee up on the bed, and placing the kitten down gently in a swirl of Navajo blanket at the food of the bed out of the way. She smiled up at him, reaching out a hand and entwining her fingers with his "Hey" she said softly.

Walt looked down at their clasped fingers and smiled a bit. Vic wriggled her way over closer to him and pulled his head down for a thorough kiss "You taste like lunch" she said accusingly. Walt nodded "sandwich", another kiss and this time her voice was aggrieved "and beer too!". Walt grunted a laugh and lay down, proffering an arm for her to snuggle into and they lay like that for a long while, just enjoying being together.

After a while he twitched the arm underneath her "You are thinking again" and Vic sighed a little "I was in the middle of having an epiphany before and I wanted to get it finished before I forgot".

"Are you finished now?"

"….finished with the realisation bit but not even started on the dealing with it bit"

"Can I help?" he queried gently and she snuggled a bit deeper into his side, wrapping one pale golden arm as far as it would go across his chest. "You are helping" she said and he could hear the smile, and rumbled deeply back "OK then".

Eventually she sighed heavily "You make choices in life and hope for the best but you never really know what will happen til the shit does or doesn't hit the fan. I didn't plan for any of this" a vague circling motion with one hand encompassed a whole range of 'this' possibilities and Walt murmured encouragingly.

"I came to Wyoming because I didn't have a choice, with the IA investigation and Sean wanting a transfer and promotion. Its full of weirdos and I hate the winters SO MUCH but in some ways it's the best place I could be".

"We do more actual police work here in a week than I would have done in Philly, its hard and dirty and sometimes it stinks but its REAL. It's good to be able to use all my skills and have the opportunity to learn new ones" she snuggled hard against him again "Walt you take me EVERYWHERE, never coddle or protect me, instead you trusted me to step up, to have your back and hold up my end of the deal". Quietly she continued "I'm sorry that I let you down lately".

He murmured negative sounds at this and she pulled away, to push up on one arm and looked down at him, pushing her hair back off her face "You told me you wanted me to stay but with no pressure or coercing or control. Just that you wanted me here" and she poked him gently in the ribs "So I stayed". She shrugged a onesided shrug "in all honesty I really didn't have anywhere else I could go at the time but it was more than that, and now I understand why".

She poked him again, harder "Dammit Walt, you are IMPOSSIBLE to read, if you had said something earlier this would have been a lot easier for both of us. But you heard me when I said I didn't want to be controlled and instead you gave me the space to make my own decisions" another poke "It would have been a hell of a lot easier with more intel" and he grunted complaint at the poking and agreement with her words.

Vic flopped down beside him, and punched a pillow up under her head and sighed again, staring up at the wood beamed ceiling (Walt hoping she didn't notice the spiderwebs) "You gave me the one thing no one else has, freedom to make my own choices with no demands or requirements, and I never realised until now how much I needed and wanted that." She rolled over and stared at him with serious intent "How I needed someone in my life who knew me that well" and she raised a hand to cup the side of his face gently for a moment before saying quietly "How much I needed you, Walt."

Before he had a chance to respond she continued "Fuck it! You have seen me covered in blood, dead animals, reeking of vomit, concussed, stressed and unhappy, at my best I was barely functioning. And you STILL wanted me and asked me to stay! How crazy is that?" she punched his side in pique now "You've turned me into a fucking cliche" and punched him again, forcing to reach over and grab her wrist in self defence, asking "what?". They wrestled for control for a moment until Vic relaxed and slid her hand into his and sighed, a resigned look on her face as she solemnly intoned "You make me want to be a better person" and snorted, waiting for a smartass response.

WALT

He turned her hand over and placed a gentle kiss on the palm before laying both down on his chest, his large hand completely covering hers and resisted the urge to say out loud "THANK GOD" as he heard Vic out. Finally his bright clever smart and sassy deputy was seeing with some clarity for a change.

His patience and careful handling once he had seen how destructive her marriage really was had paid off and now he could hope to truly set her free and see her soar towards the future she wanted. He took a shaky breath, suddenly nervous for the first time and rolled towards her, levering up on one elbow, and gently tracing a finger down the planes of her face, brushing her hair back down the length of her neck.

Something in his expression must have shown how he felt, she looked at him, eyes wide and a shade wary and he laid a hand gently on her finely sculptured jaw and spoke quietly, voice deep and gravelly with emotion" I am not a religious man, but as God is my witness, I love you Victoria Moretti" and he bent to kiss her.

This time the kiss contained all the promises, hope and desire Walt had for a future they might build together. She rose up under him, pressing back with urgent demand, matching his passion with her bright fire and for a moment nothing existed beyond the two of them and that burning kiss.

As they pulled apart, Vic murmured quietly to not kill the mood "If you kiss me like that again, I may just have an aneurysm". She smiled and opened her eyes, smile quickly turning to concern and she reached a hand up to his face as he looked down at her with tears in his eyes "Whats wrong?"


	8. Chapter 8

WALT

God she was beautiful. It made his heart hurt to see her smile for him that way, and hurt even more at the genuine care and concern that had replaced the smile "Its OK, I'm just having an epiphany of my own over here".

"Oh" unconsciously echoing his same question earlier "Can I do anything to help?"

He rubbed at his eyes and face with the back of his hand and said quietly "Give me a moment or two". She nodded and scooted up the bed, tucking pillows behind her and sitting up against the handcarved wooden headboard, and draping the blankets over her legs, tucked up in front of her.

Walt felt too insecure to say this lying down, hell he could barely bring himself to consider saying it at all, but he was committed now. It was a day for sharing painful truths with each other, and this was something he had NEVER spoken before, even to Henry.

"Everyone had pieces of themselves that are missing. Like a jigsaw. Sometimes you lose them along the way, and sometimes you never find them. Some gaps feel like a missing tooth, an ache that never quite goes away and some you didn't even know where there until the missing piece arrives to fill it".

"I met Martha and fell in love, young, too young but I was stubborn and she was determined and we made a beautiful daughter and a home and a life together. Over 20 years we were married, and every day I left for work she would say 'Be Careful Walt'. Martha was a wife and a mother and a homemaker and I loved her for it".

Walt took a careful breath, his whole body tight with tension and he looked at her with an intensity that took her breath away, his eyes so dark you couldn't tell what colour they were, she wanted to reach out to him but was afraid to break his concentration.

"Vic if it was you, you wouldn't say 'Be Careful', you would say 'Kick their asses!' and be right beside me, backing me up all the way". He leaned over and brushed the lightest of kisses on her lips "You are my missing puzzle piece and I just realised it" and he smiled an oddly sad smile at her and brushed a thumb down her cheek and jaw.

"If you love something set it free, if it comes back it is yours, if it doesn't then it never was". He smiled that sad smile again, and Vic was even more confused, what the hell was going on here?

"All I wanted was for you to be happy Vic, in whatever form it took" he paused for a moment, closing his eyes against what he had to say next "I took a chance and asked you to stay, and you did, for whatever reason at the time, but that and this" he gestured indicating the both of them on the bed "this isn't a reason for you to stay, not unless you really want to, not unless it will make you happy."

"If you need more time, or to go away and think about things, I will not hold you back Vic" his eyes opened and the strength of emotion evident there rocked her to her core "If you ask me to wait, I will, for as long as it takes".

And he waited for her answer.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

VIC

Jesus Christ, the man knew how to drop a bombshell on her in more ways than one! What the hell was he thinking? Telling her he loved her in one breath and that she was free to go in another? Starting to get annoyed, she was shaping a fully snarked up response when she realised he was doing it again, telling her how he felt and then respecting her right to make an informed decision. Vic snorted, wryly acknowledging she had just told him off for NOT doing that very thing before – giving her the intel she needed to decide with.

God the man was complicated! Not to mention challenging and difficult and they were all part of the reason she loved him. It was the way he cared, paid attention to the small details, listened and took time to figure her out, all those little things that patched over her missing pieces, THEY were why she had fallen in love with him and hadn't even noticed it happening.

FUCK! she better not leave him hanging, or he might take that as an answer! Vic cleared her throat, hoping her voice didn't wobble too obviously, because right now this shit was about to get **REAL**!

"I thought you were considered an intelligent man Walter Longmire?" it was part statement and part question and he looked carefully at her, wondering if he was supposed to respond. Vic took pity on him and unwound herself from the blankets, slithered over to him on hands and knees, and pressed his shoulders down to the bed with both hands. Framing his rugged face, she leaned down til their lips were almost touching, her eyes bright and intense,

"Why the hell would I go anywhere else, when everything I want is right here?" and she laughed a low sultry laugh and closed her mouth on his, humming deep in her throat as she ravaged him, hungry and needy and showing no doubt about how she felt.

And that, apparently was that. She was a bit surprised to find he was commando under the jeans and a brief but entertaining discussion about the requirements for underwear was had, possibly to be continued at a later date. After they talked about Omar and his Giant Telescope.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Vic demanded lunch and a shower, not necessarily in that order. While Walt prepared the food, Vic took a shower with the door open, complaining bitterly about the primitive state of the bathroom. So much so that after lunch she insisted they take a trip to Billings for some building supplies.

Walt was surprised at his deputy's knowledge of drywalling. Turns out she had spent a couple of summers working as a lackey for a dry waller one year and a plasterer the other. "Tomorrow we will sort that hellhole of a bathroom out properly" she stated with firm conviction as they loaded the last of the supplies into the truck.

Walt eyed the pile of equipment, sheets of plaster, assorted tubes and tapes and considered the corresponding hole in his cheque account and sighed. Vic poked him in the ribs "Stop being a baby, after all you are getting the labour for free". Cheered by this thought, he smiled at her and they pointed the truck on the long drive back to the cabin.

xxxxxxxx

At Vic's request he lit a fire in the old original open fireplace that evening. It didn't provide enough heat for deep winter, but on a cool late summer's evening, it was perfect to counter the chill. Possibly even romantic. Walt was charged with assembling dinner, apparently Vic could and would cook when appropriately inspired. Tonight was not one of those nights, especially when they had a fridge full of Henry's excellent cooking that even Walt could manage to reheat successfully.

They had hauled the sofa over closer to the fire and Vic had rummaged in the spare room and built a nest of spare blankets and pillows on the floor in front of the fire, and was sprawled there in a pile with Dog and Fred, all half asleep, full of good food and lulled by the warmth of the fire.

Walt cracked open a Rainier longneck and settled into one corner of the sofa, one leg down on the floor and the other stretched out comfortably. In the dark, lit only by the orange light of the fire, they talked, sharing thoughts and confidances, discussing possibilities for the future. Laying the groundwork for a real relationship, getting to know each other on a much more intimate level. It was a beginning at least.

Vic had sat up and leaned back against the sofa, resting her head on the inside of his thigh and he had stroked her hair. It smelled like orangeblossom and was soft and silky against his fingers, and she purred like the kitten as he stroked strong fingers down the back of her neck, and massaged her shoulders.

They made love there, flame heat warm on bare skin, slowly exploring, taking time to stroke, caress, linger and enjoy each other. Near dawn he had lifted her easily, carrying her to the bedroom, where they both snuggled in under the patterned Navajo blankets and slept well into the next morning. There were no nightmares that night either.


	9. Chapter 9

**First of all WOW, been delighted with so many comments and great feedback, I'm having all the feels right now! For those asking, yes this really is my first Longmire Fic, I am very glad it feels real to you as I am completely obsessed with the TV series and books, and have tried to immerse myself as deeply and as truly as I could. Much love to those who have enjoyed Fred, my first OC too :)  
**

**There are about 4 or 5 chapters left to go after this, plus an epilogue for those hanging in still reading.**

* * *

VIC / HENRY

The next day involved measuring, cutting, hammering, drilling, swearing and all the usual things involved with home DIY and bathroom renovations. They cleaned out the last of Henry's supplies for lunch and well satisfied with the days efforts, returned the cooler and containers to the Red Pony and taking the opportunity for dinner and a couple of cold beers. In fact Henry had two Rainier longnecks open on the bar before they were halfway across the room. The bar was pretty empty for a fine Sunday evening and Vic commented on this between sips of beer.

Henry gave Walt a fairly hairy eyeball before replying "Word got out that the Sheriffs department was doing random breath tests". There was only one road in and out of the Red Pony, unless you were prepared to go cross country over Rez land. It was an obvious spot to setup and catch drivers on their way past, and Vic and Walt shared a smile, and clinked their longnecks together, it wasn't them out there in the chilly evening this time round.

After taking their dinner orders (two burgers and fries) Henry disappeared into the kitchen to work his culinary magic. Walt and Vic sat quietly, enjoying the respite from the hard work they had put in over the day. Vic realised how much she enjoyed Walt's ability to sit quietly and just 'be', it was a habit she should acquire. Propping both elbows on the bar, she idly started tearing at the label on the bottle in front of her, and gave it her best shot. It would have been easier without the large calloused hand on her leg, idly tracing its way up and down her thigh…..

Walt jerked suddenly and reached into the back pocket of his jeans and pulled out his cell, he looked at Vic and muttered "Lucian" and headed outside to take the call. It didn't pay to discuss sheriff business at the local watering hole, even nearly empty as it was. Henry bustled out, a white dishcloth in his hands and cocked an eyebrow at the missing Walt.

"Lucian called, guess he finally managed to get through" the reception at the cabin was non existent, one of the excuses Walt had used for resisting getting a cell for so long. It had made for a quiet and…productive weekend for them both though and she smiled, remembering some of the highlights, like not getting electrocuted while drilling screws into the drywall!

Vic realised that the silence had dragged on longer than was usually polite, and frowned at Henry "What?". Henry poked briefly at his cell (texting Walt to say he was talking to Vic and could he wait until Henry gave the all clear to return) before stepping up to the bar, and leaning casually against it, hands busy polishing a glass with his clean white dishcloth. "I know Walt mentioned you should, so why DIDN'T you come and talk to me?" His voice was quiet, serious and concerned.

Vic stared up at him for a moment, startled and choked out a laugh "Sure, I get taken hostage, beaten up, concussed, abandoned by my husband, see Walt shot, end up having screaming nightmares and PSTD episodes reliving the horror over and over again and having to deal with the guilt of realising I was in love with Walt in the middle of it, right in front of the now ex-husband" she stopped, shaking and took a long pull of her beer and wryly smiled at him "How exactly do I have THAT conversation with the best friend and confidant of the man I was in love with, when I hadn't yet had it with him?"

Her gaze was challenging, but her hand was trembling and her eyes were haunted and Henry nodded slowly "Yes I see your point" he paused before asking the inevitable "And now?".

Vic sighed, looking small and defeated for the first time that Henry had ever seen "Now? Now I have to pick up the pieces and deal with the fallout and find my way through everything" She tilted the top of beer in one hand around in a circle to indicate 'everything'. There were a lot of possibilities but she continued "I need to get my head sorted first, I think that is going to be the hardest one to fix".

By accepting she had a problem and that help was necessary, she had taken the first and most important step. Henry nodded in understanding "And this is a good thing, then?" and Vic looked up at him and smiled, a genuine dazzling smile and he felt the happiness behind it and could see the bright fire in her soul, feeding it. He nodded again "This is good to hear" and headed to the kitchen, bringing back a basket of wedges and his special home made aioli, picking up his phone sent a text to Walt (safe to come in now).

Vic had loaded a wedge up with a generous dollop of aioli and was just about to take her first bite when Henry unexpectedly asked "So has he kissed you properly yet? Walt is an excellent kisser, I taught him everything I know". Mouth open in shock, Vic stared at him as her brain struggled to process this, and the overloaded aioli slid of the wedge to splodge messily and unheeded down the front of her light grey tshirt.

Walt of course chose that exact moment to resume his seat, reaching out for a wedge, catching the tableau and rumbled "What did I miss?". Vic shook herself back into life, ate her wedge and cast a sly sideeye at the off duty sheriff sitting next to her "Henry was talking about kissing".

Walt grunted, and nabbed another wedge before enquiring "Henry why are you talking about kissing MY deputy" and they both heard the possessive claim and the capitals in the MY and smiled for their own reasons. Vic half turned and punched him in the shoulder "Idiot, Henry was asking me about YOUR kissing game. Apparently he taught you everything he knows?". How was it possible they could both arch an eyebrow in an identical manner at him, it was uncanny.

Walt laughed "Henry and several bored French Ladies of Leisure" and he found himself under the gaze of two attentive and expectant faces, Vic getting in first "Do tell, big guy". Walt shrugged "I was in France for a while, kicking around and taken in by some ladies who were amused by a fresh faced American soldier boy" He smiled smugly at them both and sipped his beer "They taught me many interesting things". Henry and Vic glanced at each other, and Vic shrugged, sinking the last of her beer.

Henry took the empty and handed her his dishcloth with a murmured "I think you might need this" and at her querying glance nodded down at her chest, where the aioli had smudged its way right down the front of her tshirt. Vic swore and got up off her stool, dabbing at the sticky mess. She shot a disgusted glance at Henry "This is my favourite shirt" and stamped off to the Ladies. On the back of her tshirt was the man shape used for shooting targets, with a big hole shot in the head with the words I AM THE PERFECT SCORE in big letters on the back.

Gathering up several bottles, Henry began assembling some sort of cocktail on the bar, pausing to arch an elegant eyebrow in Walts direction. Walt hmphed and took a pull at his beer. The tall Indian stopped what he was doing and eyed Walt firmly "It is alright then?" and Walt shrugged.

Henry tried again "It is OK with potential to be better, perhaps?" and he was stunned to have the full blast of a truly unleashed Walt smile, the one that stopped traffic, any redblooded woman and not a few men in range in their tracks. Seen about as often as an eclipse, it was a rare and treasured event. Henry could see that the darkness that had inhabited Walts soul for so long had ignited, and the fire there was small but it burned brightly and strong.

"She makes you happy, fills the dark places with sunlight?" Walt blinked, surprised yet again at how perceptive his best friend was and how well they knew each other and nodded.

"This is a good thing then, for both of you?" and instead of a dazzling smile, Henry was offered two dark blue eyes, smouldering with a depth and intensity not seen in a very long time. It was clear what his response to that question was, in no uncertain terms. Henry nodded and resumed pouring bottles and shaking the mixer "Good." Both men exchanged small but meaningful nods and the subject was closed.


	10. Chapter 10

VIC/HENRY

When Vic emerged, still dabbing at the damp and not quite clean area on her tshirt with a handful of papertowels not really up to the task, she was greeted with a pink cocktail in a martini glass at her seat at the bar. She eyed Henry quizzically and he pushed it forward an inch "A celebratory cocktail for the loveliest lady at the bar, a Cosmopolitan" he quirked one side of his mouth "And an apology for the mess on your shirt".

She shrugged and took a cautious sip, and then a larger one and smiled at Henry. The burgers were now served up steaming and smelling fantastic and both she and Walt dug in. Vic was sure there should be more fries on her plate though and shot the man sitting next to her a suspicious glance which was obviously ignored.

Henry picked up his phone and tapped away and looked up at Vic "I have just sent you the number for my therapist, she is based in Cheyenne but does trips out to Billings a couple of times a month. Ex military, seen combat and I would recommend her".

Walt said slowly "I didn't know you had a therapist?" Henry smiled a slightly edged smile and replied "Sometimes my friend, there are things I do not want to trouble even you with" and he and Vic shared a knowing glance. Henry shrugged elegantly as he always does "Plus she gives me a different perspective. I find it valuable".

Vic put down her half eaten burger and glanced at Walt, obvious questions bubbling in her head. It was a 2 hr drive each way to Billings on a good day for a start. Walt chewed and swallowed his last mouthful of burger and washed it down with beer and grunted a laugh "We have boxes of records and evidence that needs to be put into official storage, that we never get time to deal with. Vic has now just volunteered to be courier driver a couple of times a month.

He smiled at her and stole another fry off her plate "If you get back early you can finish sanding and painting the bathroom". He looked at her more seriously and nodded "Take the days you need, the Department can cope with it. Vic smiled and nodded in relief, she had been concerned at how to cover the costs of seeing a professional, and more importantly, how to find a good one locally (locally being anywhere in the state).

She swirled the last of the cocktail in the glass, preparing to lift it up for the last mouthful when Henry murmured quietly "I would be happy to come along and provide company and support if need be" and he arched an eyebrow at Walt "If you don't mind".

Vic had raised the glass and was just about to drain the last mouthful when Henry stagewhispered behind one hand to her "He does not like to share his toys. I had to teach him that too" Vic choked and the pink cocktail cascaded down her chin soaking into an already damp and abused tshirt.

Wiping her face with the tattered papertowels, she glared balefully at both the men and pushed off her stool. Henry called "Stop" and pointed the drink mixing gun straight at her. Vic put both hands up and took a step back "Mister I am unarmed".

Walt and Henry shared an ironic glance at this statement.

Henry replied "there was cranberry juice in the drink and it will stain if it is not washed out quickly" and Vic sidled a step sideways "Henry I didn't come here to star in a one woman wet tshirt competition, so if you shoot me with that thing I swear I will strip it off and sit back down at the bar".

She continued "I will sit right there and finish my burger, topless if I have to. Its getting cold". Her resolute voice and stance made Henry query a glance to Walt who nodded "Not joking".

Before he could reply Vic continued "In case you hadn't noticed, I'm not wearing any underwear either". She had the immediate attention of both men and shrugged and jerked a thumb at Walt "We had an agreement, if he doesn't have to, then neither do I".

Henry visibly had to gather himself before replying and nodded once to Vic "You I had noticed" and then to Walt "You I had not…..fortunately". Walt winked and cheerily saluted him with his bottle "One moment please" and Henry slipped into his office and came back after a minute with a handful of pink fabric that turned out to be a bright pink Hello Kitty tshirt. Definately at least one size too small.

"Deena left this behind one and never remembered to take it, will this do as a temporary replacement?" Vic huffed but stepped forward and took the bright pink offering. Casing the joint, they were alone in this half of the bar and no one at the pool tables at the far end was paying them any attention. With a smooth move Vic slid the clammy wet shirt over her head and slapped it on the bar, and squirmed into the pink one, that was a specatacularly tight fit.

Seating herself at the bar, she calmly ate a fry and then said into the frozen silence "What?". Henry, at a total loss for words claimed the soggy tshirt and beat a hasty retreat into the kitchen and Vic answered the silent question hanging in the air "Boundaries" she stated firmly.

"Hmmm?"

"That was about setting boundaries. You two are damned near telepathic with how well you know each other. If I am to be part of this, then I will have to be part of that too. So Henry needs to know how far to push me and how far I am prepared to go" She dipped another fry into the ketchup and smiled sunnily at him (you can take the girl out of Philly…) and followed up "Four brothers remember ".

Walt nodded " …..So. Boundaries. …. And no underwear? At all?" Vic grinned evilly at him with a 'I know but I'm not telling' expression.

"You tell me, big guy" and the air heated between them.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

HENRY/CADY

In the kitchen Henry had put the tshirt out of its misery with a good rinsing in cold water and then being put in a bowl to soak. Vic and Walt were so involved in their conversation and each other that he could see the air nearly shimmering between them.

He got his phone out, and took a couple of photos and sent them to Cady in Denver. The text reply back was nearly instantaneous

[WTF] Cady

[I wanted to warn you] Henry

This time his phone chirped, it was Cady on Facetime, Henry stepped further into the depths of the kitchen to avoid being overheard as Cady whispered urgently through the screen at him "Is that what it looks like?" Her eyes were a bit wild and Henry nodded "If what it looks like is your father having a rather intimate conversation with Vic, then yes it is".

"Oh My God are they sleeping together?" her voice sounded a bit strangled.

"Yes I believe so" and she screeched quietly "OMG when?"

"Very recently I think"

Cady brushed hair of her face and pursed her lips 'Jesus, I should have guessed it would be Vic" and her gaze sharpened "Henry is he happy?"

Henry nodded solemnly "Yes I believe he is" and Cady laughed in delight "Thank god he is FINALLY getting laid" and then dragged the back of her hand to her mouth in horror "OMG the image of my father having sex can now never be erased!" and she moaned theatrically, the back of the hand now at her forehead and she faked a swoon.

Risking a glance at the couple still oblivious to anything beyond each other he said quietly "See for yourself" and turned the phone around for a long moment.

Her face was calm but her eyes dark when she said "Jesus H Christ, its serious isn't it?" and Henry nodded and she sighed.

"Well OK it might take a bit of getting used to, especially having a step mother damn near the same age as me, but OK he has my blessing. Not that I could do anything about it now by the looks of things".

"Good, I will tell him when it is appropriate"

She half laughed "Of course you will, and I will try to not give the game away until he is brave enough to finally tell me" She giggled and waved good bye and clicked off the call. Henry sighed with relief, it could have gone either way but Cady only ever wanted her Dad to be happy.

He put his phone back in his pocket and ventured out to the bar where Vic and Walt where putting on jackets and clearly preparing to leave, even though it was barely 8pm. Henry refused their money, given the tshirt damage and walked them out to the door. He watched as Walts truck pulled out of the carpark with a lot more vigour than usually seen in his careful driving.

Henry mused as he went back inside "…NO underwear at all…really" and smiling he went into the kitchen to carefully hand wash a favourite tshirt. Its what you do for family.


	11. EPILOGUE

EPILOGUE

VIC/HENRY

It had meant a wait of a couple of weeks but Vic got an appointment with Henry's therapist on her next trip to Billings. She had sounded quite nice on the phone but Vic was still nervous. This could potentially go on her service record and not necessarily in a good way.

Walt had given her desk duty for the first week back after everything changed, with the excuse she had to start dragging out and cataloguing all the files that were to be transported. This turned out to be sadly true and he had taken pity on her for the Friday afternoon and taken her out on a ride along.

Ruby had been a bit clingy and hovered a lot, and Vic had to restrain herself from snapping in temper and instead had a quiet chat and explained that she had some health issues but Walt had helped and she was getting professional help, and she was going to be OK. Vic had been startled at the hug, but returned it and things had returned to normal. Vic had been touched by the concern, she had been living with her head so far up her own ass that she hadn't really taken the time to cultivate a more personal relationship with the team. She regretted that now and added it to her mental checklist of things for the new improved Vic to contain.

They had used a beaten up old Hilux Walt had at the cabin. He had bought it for Cady to learn to drive and and kept it around for hauling farm stuff and firewood and the like. Occassionally when he wanted to be incognito he would drive it instead of the sheriff truck. Henry had collected it and bought it round to the office early and they had loaded up the imposing stack of boxes Vic had assembled and headed off to Billings bright and early. Henry was driving, and annoying cheerful in the bright morning sunshine.

Vic had more nightmares the previous evening and was tired and grumpy with it and not particularly inclined to be in a good mood about the coming events of the day either. After about half an hour of sullen silence, she had fiddled with the radio, complaining about the static and the limited radio choices until Henry had reached out a hand to her shoulder and just quietly said her name "Vic".

She slumped down in her seat, fighting the urge to pout like a teenager and sighed, turning to look at Henrys unique profile as he drove "Why are you doing this?" her voice sounded a tad peeved and he glanced at her before querying "Driving you to Billings?".

She waved a hand vaguely in agreement but said, gesturing to the both of them "This, why are doing this? Volunteering to be in a truck with me for hours of driving for a day?" She narrowed her eyes at him "You have another agenda here, I am sure of it". She could see him smile, as he checked the mirror, indicated and pulled over onto the wide grass verge. This bit was all straight flat road with farmland all around. The truck rumbled to a stop and the motor ticked and hissed in the quiet.

Henry rummaged in the backpack he had sitting in the footwell and rustled up a thermos with two cups and poured, wonder of wonders, rich creamy hot chocolate into each cup. Saluting her with his, he took a sip and closed his eyes and murmured "Try it, I think you will like it". He wasn't wrong, it was rich and strong and just sweet enough and she unclipped her seatbelt and wriggled round to lean against the door, still giving him the hairy eyeball.

Henry unclipped his belt too and slung a knee up on the bench seat, turning towards her a bit, still sipping his hot chocolate but eyeing her and considering his reply. Finally he sat his cup down on the seat next to him and asked her "How are you feeling about the appointment today?". She rubbed her tired face with both hands and breathed deeply for a moment and said quietly "Scared. Scared but hopeful".

He nodded "That is a good place to start from and I am pleased you are going. The doctor will do good things I am sure" and he paused and rather delicately asked "How are you and Walt doing?". She breathed a laugh "I bet you have been dying to ask either one of us that lately" and his smile acknowledged the truth in that. Vic drummed her fingers on the dash "Mostly we are good, we are both trying really hard, but the communication can sometimes be challenging. Rather the lack of it."

Henry mmmd in agreement "This therapist will be able to help with the trauma and the PTSD, but there will be other more personal things that you may not want to share with her. Or that she cannot help with, having not met the other person in your life" and Vic shrugged agreement "I guess so?".

"How much do you know about Walts' family and childhood?" she looked confused

"Not a lot really, why?"

"Walt will never tell you this himself, some of it he cannot, and some of it because it had to be seen from the outside and he does not have that point of view, you understand" at her nod he continued "Walt's father was a blacksmith, a hard man with very firm but limited views. His mother was a kind gentle woman, not suited to the hardscrabble farming life she was provided with and turned to the church for comfort. They only had the one child because she had what would have now been diagnosed as severe post natal depression after Walt was born, and got no sympathy from her husband"

"Walt loved and respected his father but he feared his temper too. Many was the time I would see him with bruises, or a black eye and there was always an excuse" Henry lifted a hand to his right temple "Walt has a scar here, underneath the hair from a blow his father gave him when he was around 15 or so. Walt was a very intelligent boy, and love to learn and read. He did well at school academically, but due to his height and build was always going to end up on the sporting field. When he was younger he was very fast too."

Henry shifted in his seat "Walt adored his mother, and treated her like royalty at every opportunity. His father instilled the old fashioned western manners into him at a young age, and his mother provided the gentle influence to counter the harshness of the father."

"He worked very hard to win a scholarship and get as far away from Powder Junction and his father as soon as he could. One day there would have been a reckoning between then and it would have broken Walt to have beaten his father but he would have done it to protect his mother. In some ways it was a blessing they both died in the car accident."

Henry held a hand up "Be patient, I am getting to the point soon" and she smiled slightly and stopped fidgeting with her hands on her cup.

"His father taught him many things, but the worst one in my opinion was that he taught Walt that a man did not share feelings unless it was anger and fists. Those emotions were appropriate for a man to feel and exhibit. Kindness and compassion, empathy and caring were for women, and men should never be seen to show them. Add in his natural reserve and shyness and you can imagine the nightmare that were Walt's teenage years"

Her hands were gripping the cup so hard her knuckles where white, so much of this made sense to her now, but Henry was not finished

"I counselled against it at first, Walt marrying Martha. He could not see that he had chosen a woman just like his mother but this time he was going to save her from the life his father had given his mother" Henry shook his head "They were so young and thought they were in love and by the time Cady had come along it was too late and they were both committed. Martha was a good woman, strong where her family was concerned and shaped a lot of what is good in Walt and he loved her with a deep affection".

"She tried very hard, but could not fix all the damage done, they also struggled with communicating. Walt avoided conflict by working too hard, too late and long hours, and eventually Martha stopped trying to fix him. When she was diagnosed with cancer Walt was so angry, it was something he couldn't protect her from and so he treated her like the finest porcelain for those last few years. It was his way of showing he cared, he cannot often say the words, so he acts as he can instead." Henry paused for a long moment, not quite finished

"When she was murdered Walt was devastated. His job was to protect, to save her, and he wasn't there to do that and it broke something deep inside him." Henrys dark eyes were intent on hers "Vic he went so far away, there were times I could not reach him and I was very afraid for him for a long time. And until we find who killed Miller Beck, I am still very afraid of what he might do."

Vic nodded, she had seen that darkness in Walt too, the day he had wrecked his office had been remarkable, he had turned over the antique desk with his bare hands and it weighed so much it had to be assembled in the office according to the Carnegie Library history. She drained the last of the hot chocolate and waited, not sure if there was more, but willing to hear Henry out

"Walt is different around you Vic, more relaxed. I think he initially saw you as another deputy and your capability and confidence won his trust. Eventually he began to feel differently about you, but I have seen how he looks at you, how he has taken care of you these last few weeks. And I have seen how he really is making an effort but a lifetime of habit is a hard thing to overcome, especially one that has such unpleasant memories for him."

"The point of this history lesson is I know Walt is a complicated man and he is challenging in his own unique and special way. I wanted you to understand that there were reasons behind it, something beyond what a therapist could help with but I can help Vic and I want to. If things are not going well, or you are having a bad day, please come to talk to me. Maybe I will just listen and provide beer. Sometimes I can offer counsel or insight."

"The important thing is I think you two are very good for each other, and I would hate to see it not go as well as it could. He will fight you, will be stubborn and insensitive and thoughtless, probably on a daily basis" Henry reached out a hand for her empty cup and after he stowed it in the backpack he reached out both hands again, and she cautiously offered hers in exchange. Henry gently clasped her small pale golden hand in his dark capable hands "Walt is the brother of my heart, and that makes you my sister. It is no shame to ask for help or guidance from family" a gentle squeeze of her hand and he let go "That was my agenda, plus it is a beautiful day for a drive into the shining metropolis of Billings. Shall we resume?"

Taken with emotion and unable to speak, her throat thick and her eyes shining a little too brightly, Vic nodded, and they both clipped their belts in and the truck rumbled to life and back onto the highway.

Xxxxxxxxx

It had taken a while to unload all of the boxes and drop them off at the Archive, the local force had wanted to gossip and Vic had only managed to escape by pleading an unavoidable appointment. Henry's appointment had been while she was dealing with boxes , hers was after lunch and she had only picked at her salad. Shedding her duty jacket and belt, and donning a tan leather jacket, she blended into the lunchtime crowd as had been planned. At Henry's prompting she rose reluctantly and walked to her fate.

Vic had been surprised, the doctor – Helen – had been really nice and not at all intimidating or aggressive. Her questions were thoughtful and Vic got the feeling she truly listened and heard what was being said, and didn't try to be overly clever. Helen felt genuine and Vic had breathed a sigh of relief as she headed down to the stairs to the beaten up Hilux waiting down the block for her. Maybe she could do this after all.

Henry waited a moment before starting up the vehicle,a quizzical look creasing his forehead "It it well with you, little sister?" and taking a deep breath, she smiled bravely and nodded "Yes Helen was very nice" she rustled a paper at him "We need to stop at a drugstore, I have a new prescription to get" a nod and a turn of the key and they were on their way.

After a stop at the drugstore and some more lunch for Vic, who was of course, now hungry, which Henry took as a good sign, they navigated the mid afternoon traffic and soon hit the mostly empty highway back to Durant. Vic fiddled with the radio again, trying to get a clear station, and rolled her eyes at Henry, obviously resisting the urge to tell her she was wasting her time and leave it alone. He wasn't wrong of course, but she was feeling …better…..and wanted some music to lighten the mood.

"You know I have four brothers already?" she queried the tall Indian at the wheel. "None of them could ever make me behave, what makes you think you can" she sassed him cheekily and he was delighted to see some fire back in her demeanour.

"I have access to one thing they do no have" he stated firmly.

"Yeah, whats that?"

"Walt"

"? Walt, what do you mean Walt?"

He turned to face her, eyes twinkling "If you do not play by the rules, I will ask Walt to suspend …priviledges"

She gasped in mock horror and then laughed that smug little chortle women have "I would like to see you try"

They bickered on and off like that for the rest of the trip home, and Henry finally pulled to a stop outside the cabin, next to Rezdawg sagging rustily on the turnabout. Vic had paused for a moment when they had both exited the truck and said softly "Thankyou Henry, for today. For everything." Henry had enclosed her in a gentle hug and held her for as long as she needed held.

"It is what you do for family".

* * *

**WOW! if you stuck with me this far, then thankyou and I hope you enjoyed my little story. Thanks for all the feedback and comments, it has been really encouraging.**

**I am not sure if there will be more, my muse is a fickle one, but Longmire is in my soul now so I hope so.**

**For those interested here is the play list that inspired me or was thematically appropriate while I was writing:**

**Songs for Walt:**

**Haunted - Evanescence**

**Shot in the Dark - Within Temptation**

**This Night - Black Lab**

**Taciturn - Stone Sour**

**Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol**

**Still Here and Come Crashing - Digital Daggers**

**Let Her Go - Within Temptation version**

**Precious Pain - Melissa Etheridge**

**Songs for Vic: **

**Fantasy - MsMr**

**Fucking Perfect - Pink**

**All I Need and Its the Fear - Within Temptation**

**Taking Over Me - Evanescence**

**Songs that suit both:**

**Heaven and Hell - Digital Daggers**

**No One Is To Blame - Howard Jones**

**Taken - Stellar**

**Come Undone - Duran Duran**

**Broken - Seether f Amy Lee**

**A Legacy of Comfort - Elizabeth Soundtrack Martin Phipps**

**Songs for Sexy Times :)**

**I Can't Stay Away - The Veronicas**

**The Night is Still Young - Billy Joel**

**Make it Like a Memory - Barbra Streisand**

**Song Instead of A Kiss - Alannah Myles**

**Sweet Dreams - Air Supply**

**Total Eclipse of the Heart - Bonnie Tyler**


End file.
